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Living in a region infested with Muslims, the American debate over the so-called ‘Amnesty Bill’ can seem rather luxurious. If only we here could afford to debate the number of Latino Catholics within our borders. Alas, we don’t have the time. There are too many Pakistani issues to deal with; things like grooming, drug-dealing, honour killing and terrorism. The pesky migrants mowing lawns without a visa will have to wait.

Still, belittle it as I might, there is a real process underway in the US. In the very near future, the South-West of the country will be become indistinguishable from Central America. This area (called ‘Atzlan’ by Chicano activists) was once officially part of Mexico. For all intents and purposes, it shall be again. California, Texas and New Mexico are already heavily ‘Hispanified’ – to use a term that is meaningless this side of the Atlantic. The ticking of the clock is all that is required to complete the job.

Needless to say, Right-Wing commentators like Pat Buchanan view this transformation with barely-concealed horror:

“This is not immigration as America knew it” Buchanan writes “when men and women made a conscious choice to turn their backs on their native lands and cross the ocean to become Americans. This is an invasion, the greatest invasion in history. Nothing of this magnitude has ever happened in so short a span of time… Against the will of a vast majority of Americans, America is being transformed.”

But is it really that bad? Perhaps it’s a case of the ‘grass is greener’, but relative to the problems Europe faces, America remains incredibly fortunate.

American Whites, like their kin across the Atlantic, have forgotten how to breed properly. Both populations are declining to an extent that necessitates immigration to maintain economic growth. But whereas America’s backyard is a sea of beautiful, bronze-skinned Catholics, Europe’s backyard is a toxic fudge of violent Muslims and dirt poor Africans.

So to put it bluntly, I’m jealous. As are all Europeans. Whenever I hear scare-stories about Mexican migration, I instinctively compare them to those I could tell of ‘British’ Bangladeshis, Pakistanis and Turks.

Mexicans are demanding your school teaches in Spanish? Well, be thankful your teachers are not required to wear a headscarf.

Puerto Rican gangs are hanging out on street corners? Well, at least they’re not parked outside a kebab shop waiting to pick your daughter up.

Cubans are stealing your overtime? Well, at least you’re not being blown up on the way to work.

But perhaps I’m not doing justice to the problems engendered by America’s porous border. One shouldn’t ignore the issue of narco-terrorism for example, a phenomenon which kills just as well as its Islamic equivalent. The dilution of America’s identity as an English-Speaking country too, is not something to take light-heartedly.

Nevertheless, were the situations of America and Europe able to be traded, I don’t of any European who would refuse the deal.